*SELF–noun
1. a person or thing referred to with respect to complete individuality: one's own self.
2. a person's nature, character, etc.: his better self.
3. personal interest.
4. Philosophy .
a. the ego; that which knows, remembers, desires, suffers, etc., as contrasted with that known, remembered, etc.
b. the uniting principle, as a soul, underlying all subjective experience.
*ESTEEM–verb (used with object)
1. to regard highly or favorably; regard with respect or admiration: I esteem him for his honesty.
2. to consider as of a certain value or of a certain type; regard: I esteem it worthless.
3. Obsolete . to set a value on; appraise.
*ESTEEM –noun
4. favorable opinion or judgment; respect or regard: to hold a person in esteem.
*Cite: dictionary.com
Early yesterday I posted a public service announcement regarding marriage. Later, the same day I took some time out to watch the Marie Osmond interview on Oprah. While I sat taking in her story of losing her dear son to suicide my heart broke for so many reasons. One it has been rumored that she was in an abusive marriage and that it took its toll on her children, with great specificity towards this son.
1. a person or thing referred to with respect to complete individuality: one's own self.
2. a person's nature, character, etc.: his better self.
3. personal interest.
4. Philosophy .
a. the ego; that which knows, remembers, desires, suffers, etc., as contrasted with that known, remembered, etc.
b. the uniting principle, as a soul, underlying all subjective experience.
*ESTEEM–verb (used with object)
1. to regard highly or favorably; regard with respect or admiration: I esteem him for his honesty.
2. to consider as of a certain value or of a certain type; regard: I esteem it worthless.
3. Obsolete . to set a value on; appraise.
*ESTEEM –noun
4. favorable opinion or judgment; respect or regard: to hold a person in esteem.
*Cite: dictionary.com
Early yesterday I posted a public service announcement regarding marriage. Later, the same day I took some time out to watch the Marie Osmond interview on Oprah. While I sat taking in her story of losing her dear son to suicide my heart broke for so many reasons. One it has been rumored that she was in an abusive marriage and that it took its toll on her children, with great specificity towards this son.
I am never sure of what is true or speculation when it comes to blogs and magazine articles. You already know my stance on abuse and what toll it takes on boys (in my case- because that is what I had - a son). For all the years since I have been watching him like a hawk making sure that he is fully developing like other children and that he doesn't have residual effects of the abusive experience. Of course, to be terribly honest with you he did show signs of distress over the years... but, Jah has blessed me to help him through every tunnel that has been presented. My greatest fear is the day that my help doesn't work. Many young ones go through ferocious depressions due to their childhood experiences.
I felt like I was in such pain watching Marie because I know how many nights as mothers we worry for our little ones even when we don't live in an abusive home, but, when you do... it's a crushing pain that follows you, because you blame yourself (allot) for ever having your child/children around abusive partners.
Because I don’t know what really happened in her relationship with her ex-husband I will pause and say this last thing- although she did not answer yes or no when Oprah asked if she was physically abused. Her lack of answering was the answer. She was deliberate and thoughtful in her answer. Her last statements on her marriage will stick with me for the rest of my life, she smiled when she said she was just "tired" when she entered her second marriage, and she felt that, that was not the way to enter a marriage. But, the most powerful statement on the subject is the thing that will stay with me forever and I will pass it along to my daughter and nieces because I have lived it and know it like I know the blood in my veins: "You marry at the level of your self-esteem, make sure you have self worth." -Marie Osmond quote
I will end on that note!
p.s. When you decide to stay in relationships that are devaluing to your self-concept, self-esteem, or since of self (and yes, I have said essentially the same thing three ways to get the point across) it will have HUGE ramifications on not only you but your children. When the abuser is telling you how worthless you are he essentially is telling your children that same thing via you. Long pause and a final sigh.
p.s. When you decide to stay in relationships that are devaluing to your self-concept, self-esteem, or since of self (and yes, I have said essentially the same thing three ways to get the point across) it will have HUGE ramifications on not only you but your children. When the abuser is telling you how worthless you are he essentially is telling your children that same thing via you. Long pause and a final sigh. 
